The Dance

       It's been some time since I have blogged about life. And, i guess this is the dance that we do when we are learning the moves.

       For me, I am figuring it out. I feel that i am in this really interesting place of wanting to step into the person i want to become but have been stumbling over my feet. Its really hard to process when you have learned so much in such a short period of time. I feel that i have learned how to let go but struggle with the process.. . never truly being set free. But, i don't entirely fear the process... just spooked buy it, not overcome by it.

     I chalk it up to growing pains and growing gains. Self-conscious and scary going through the process of growth but indeed required and necessary...for me. 

This. Is. Life.

Little Gems

Little Gems are the little things to the great things in your life that makes you smile, think, and grow. Sometimes this can be the inhalation of a cool breeze, reading an amazing quote or the sensation of laying in nice cool sheets. Gems can also be happiness gained from the smile of a little boy, the love received from a text from a sister, a song of old, or a loving embrace of someone you adore.

They are gems that you pick up along your journey of live, gems that you treasure and wear when needed...live manifestations of the things that make your heart beat vibrantly. The best part about these gems, is that they are free.

Bask in your gems, the treasures that make you feel beautiful and alive~

slow your role

What happens when you have like 7 roles? How do you slow down then? Reliquensh, that's what I say. You can't be everything to everyone you know. I don't know how I did it before, but now, I'm not a fan of the past Sonia.

One day at a time, indeed!

War Zone

How am i suppose to do any work as IZ's"over the rainbow" pipes in my ears, and the first thing i see is my brothers urn.

Living in the trenches, that i know how to do. I hope no one ever dare tells me i can't fight a war on anything, when i can do this..

fuck you crisis intervention. I am the intervention to my crisis-

A pain in my heart

"There is an empty space inside my heart" rings in my ears as I listen to the new Radiohead album. I can relate to the Lotus Flower song/lyrics.The lotus flower sometimes symbolized creation and rebirth.. and so, the emptiness inside my heart, i suppose is the death.

I heard a wise person say the other day that
pain is here to teach us something..
and so the literal aching in my heart,
well i pray it is that..

I realize that the current way that i am living is not the way i wish. I wish to live in love. And i guess in my case, i have to experience pain, before i can experience love.

Just as the Buddhist see the lotus flower as a representation of the body, speech, and mind, so do I wish to be like the lotus flower- balanced. I have been pretty quick to get into crisis intervention mode with myself.. what can i do? what do you need? what do i need? What don't i need? Enough questions to make a person sick. I realize that I must surrender to my pain to access my love.


Just as Yoga has become a practice to me.. a practice in silence, in self, in slow, in breath, and in honor.. i too aspire to translate this practice into my life.

I realize that losing a loved one is the hardest thing one can experience.... it is ... you read about it, you hear about it, and you watch it in films. I was at Blockbuster and stumbled across this movie called Brother Bear.. what i have called my brother over the years. I  watched this movie, and even in this Disney movie, i am reminded that i am a part of the circle of life. As silly as it sounds, i got something from it.. a brother bear did die in that movie, and it was sad. But it reminded me about the bigger picture- of love, family, and of love for others...it reminded me of my goals. I aspire to slow it down, get back to the basics, and recall that i still have a heart. Although part of it is missing, there is still a heart that needs tending to. . .

The track Give up the Ghost is now on, and a thump resonates throughout the song... but so goes the thump of  my heart, and so will the rhythm of my heart and life force...

one of the song lyrics says "don't haunt me"...but i hear, "don't rush me"...

with my thump..

Living Above the Wave

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Colourless Colour - La Roux

Today....... i am sad...you can't run from it.. so- i step into it..and i embrace it .. its who i am, right now...this song came up on Pandora and its said my brother "likes it."